The Tent Commandments

or Ten Good Pieces of Advice Before You Pitch Your Tent

• Thou shalt not get out of the tent at night when camping in the jungle.

• Thou shalt not put the tent up over a termite nest. 

• Remember if there is a sudden deluge in the deep jungle and you can’t find a clearing, don’t put your tent up in the middle of the road.

• Thou shalt not pack a wet tent.

• Thou shalt not put the tent up in a clearing that is a home for a million bloodsucking insects.

• Honor the rule when camping in an area that is notorious for highway robbers, that you sleep with armed guards.

• Thou shall not leave food scraps near the tent.

• Thou shalt not put up the tent where hippos feed, even if the grass is lush and soft.

• Thou shalt not camp on a river bank where there might be crocodiles.

• Thou shalt not camp on a Spanish tourist beach.